lovin’ life

Just recently, I’ve been feeling less down. I wouldn’t say they’re serious or they’re the kind that would really stress me out. Seems like things have been getting more manageable, but I think some might give way to problems. 

But I’m not in the mood to talk about those kind of stuff. I might just ruin my mood for the coming week. Let me just take this opportunity to thank someone who made a big impact on my life. I’ve always thought of becoming a teacher realizing that it’s more than just a profession. I want to change lives, to inspire. 

Happy Birthday Teacher Cel! It’s been almost a decade since the time you prepared me for  the contest that changed my life. I remember how supportive and patient you were. Were it not for you, I wouldn’t have gotten there. It was like you never really demanded excellence, but you drew it out. (: Thank you for everything. Idda wouldn’t be who she is now if you weren’t a part of what she was. 

pragmatic and positive influence

Youngins:

Love your ‘rents. They may not be the perfect pair given to us, or we could have made a wrong choice, but still, they are our parents. We should be grateful for their presence, for what they have sacrificed. Maybe there were times we forgot, or we were not aware of what they’ve done for us. Some of us don’t even care, which is the worst in my opinion. I am not here to judge you with the gravity of my words if they happen to be against you, but I really mean what I say.

Before you start making faces and pointing out others’ ‘mistakes’, why don’t you look at your very own shortcomings. Let’s see who’s missing out a lot. Have you ever put down your pride to say sorry before they ask for your apology even if it was your fault? Have you realized that it was a grave mistake to literally close the door while your parent is still talking to you? And what really ticks me off is that there was no guilt on your part. (Tamaan na kung sino ang tatamaan, ok?)

I am not a perfect daughter, not even what they desired me to be, but I could go on telling everyone that I am proud of them. But with my imperfections, I am fully aware that I have no pretentions or whatsoever. My parents are my friends. I know I’m not 100% of the two of them combined, I’m really stupid when it comes to Math, but you’d see the stubborness and appeal plus some other traits I got from my mom, and being a jolly good fellow like my dad. It’s just that the degree of manifestations are somewhat different. 

So to those people who don’t value their parents, GDIAF. I wish that if ever the time comes you become parents too, you’ll be able to experience what it’s like to be ignored by your kids. 

Related to parent-child relationship stuff, I just recently appreciated the drama Ninkyo Helper to the extent of pimping it now. XD At first, I watched it for the smasher that is Kuroki Meisa and because I am a Ya3 fan, Yabu’s part of the cast, there ‘y go. My bad for not expecting too much from it, but you see, it’s the best drama so far this season. As I speak, the sixth episode was just aired last Thursday, and I haven’t downloaded it yet. The episode I like best atm is the fifth one. The lead character gets unexpectedly reunited with the mother who abandoned him 28 years ago. It was a really moving episode that I could’ve cried if I were watching alone. I know that it’s a tough situation, but with understanding and forgiveness things will work out fine. You definitely have to check out the drama if you have time or if your connection permits you. Hahahaha. I’m looking forward for more!

Through this drama, there were some things too that I realized. In real life, I can totally relate to the helpers, especially with the main character. Sometimes, he gets annoyed and irritated with his work, but he gets to realize important things.I know that I’m not patient enough, and I’m quite short-tempered, but somehow, learning through watching the drama was nice. Note: KNOW THE KIND OF SHOW THAT WILL INFLUENCE YOU POSITIVELY. Hindi yung puro halikan!

I think it was post-worthy since we all have to pause for awhile and realize that our parents are real treasures.  

streamlining

I know I’m not supposed to start my day like this. I am obviously not amused at how things are going every morning, but I’m told to just keep mum about it. It ain’t easy y’know. It’s hard keeping things to yourself, when your emotions are on the line. What do you get when you don’t let them out? Stress. So I could say I’m stressed out thinking of what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. The only thing that bothers me is the best thing I learned from Economics class: OPPORTUNITY COST. There are a lot of things you have to consider before making a decision, whether it be minor or life-altering. It basically explains the idea that not all things can be yours, and you can’t have everything you want.  

I’m doing it out of respect, but sometimes, I easily lose whatever patience I have. Well, I have reasons why I act or talk that way. But then, doesn’t that return to me being the loser? So that’s one of the hardest things I’m dealing with now. 

Just recently, I thought that I want to become a metaphysicist. Go, disown me, Philippines. If only a few people appreciate Metaphysics here, I won’t have second thoughts in going to other countries where Philosophy is a big deal. I simply want people to know what they should know. Though my course is a communication-related course, I might as well use it. What I really need is professional tutelage- from the basics to the complexities. 

If you find yourself still reading up to this part, thank you. I’m not thinking of ending this post yet. 

Knowing the things you don’t want and not knowing what you really want. That’s plain and simple, yet in our lives, it’s hard when we’re in a tough situation and we have no idea of what we really need. Honestly….another dilemma. I know other people have their own share of difficulties. It just so happened that I have a background, so the way I deal with my problems are either logical or figurative. 

I want to become an artist again. During the past couple of years, what people have seen was Hydee the student, Hydee the blogger, Hydee the fangirl, Hydee the parapsychologist-hopeful and probably the most famous, Hydee the misfit. As Hydee the fangirl went on hiatus two months ago, enter Hydee the metaphysicist-aspirer. As she’s nearing the 20th year mark, she has thought of venturing deeper into the complexities of the universe. The knotiness. The tortuousness. That is why I think that part of my mission is to get to know myriad of microhistories. If you’re interested, tell me yours. I’ll wait for the return of Hydee the artist. Anything is inspiring, except boys. Hydee the writer is a wraith that visits the blogosphere only when urged by visual stimulants and deadly plotbunnies.The muses are boys this time. XDDDD

I chose the right parents. If my choice wasn’t good enough, I won’t end up thinking like this. They brought me up very well. I want to tell them that I love them so much, because they made Hydee this way. Hydee can’t easily commit herself to one person, nor she could extend a different kind of affection for one person- Hydee is for everyone. I know the things I moght be possibly devoid of. Not really  To quote St.Aloysius Gonzaga (I haven’t completely forgotten the Catholic values!) “I was born for greater things.”, and those things aren’t necessarily fame or fortune-centric unless those things are what I really need to force urge people to beome more aware of their inner selves. That’s my way of taking the first step to that long road leading to peace. It’s a long road, I know, but we all should start with baby steps. I don’t want to be alone in this. Take part or die being eaten alive by bloodworms.

Life isn’t always a Disney fairy tale. I admit that my life is a champloo of your usual Stephen King classic and a trippy Tarantino flick, or a premise of  Murakami-meets-Dan Brown, and that’s just it. The drama is sometimes gritty, interrupted by a somewhat malapropos insert song by a boyband. XD Then, after the resolution, the end credits roll while the theme song by Mr.Children plays on. 

Let there be a laugh trip. 

prolly my time

I’ve been feeling it- that it’s probably my chance now. I’ve been keeping a low profile since First Year, afraid to attempt taking risks. Seems like a huge cloud just got swept away, and that same cloud which has been blocking my view is now gone. 

not really a hit-the-ground-running start

I attended the funeral of a good friend who passed away a few days ago. I realized that some people die to inspire others to live their lives well, and to cherish each day like it’s their last. It’s just that it’s really hard to accept when you know that the person is very friendly and warm. I wasn’t able to recognize some of my former classmates, due to the fact that I’ve discovered the fountain of youth.Well I don’t know if it’s really good or it’s embarrassing to look like you hardly changed at all.

Since I stayed up late and only had 2 hours of sleep, I slept immediately after reaching home. I woke up thinking of my brother’s money for tomorrow, so I decided to go and withdraw money from the ATM. Unfortunately, it was off-line and I was really pissed off that I wanted to just cry. And when I went home, I was even scolded by my grandparents. Of course, I felt really bad that in such situations, I want to move out and live on my own. But in reality, I can’t because we’re a middle-class family. 

Much ado about nothing.